So.. I ordered a case of water online and it arrives discolored. I subsequently check the date to discover they are all expired. Office Max is not exactly jumping to make right the fact that they shipped me an expired product. Initially they say a driver will be coming to pick up the bad product – with no mention of refund or replacement. Naturally I had a little something to say to that, and so below I will post the conversation or as I call it, “The blog post that wrote itself.”   

—–Original Message—–
From: J-
To: Customer Support
Subject: Inquiry from customer J-: Received damaged or defective item

1 of XXX Vitamin Water [ASIN: B006O87QN6]

————- Begin message ————-

Hi there.
These just arrived to my excitement but – I discovered immediately that the coloring is off. To my extreme disappointment, I discovered they are EXPIRED. How dare you take nearly $xx from me and ship an expired product?!!! I am hopeful that you will make this right – and by ‘make right’, I mean send (immediately, none of this “2-3 day processing before shipment” crap) a replacement that is NOT DATED for LAST YEAR.

Please reply; I’m super disappointed. 😦
————- End message ————-
On Thursday, January 30, 2014 11:13 AM, OfficeMax – Replied:
Hello J-,
We received your request to return merchandise on invoice ******. Please write this Authorization to Return number ****** on the shipping label on the outside of the box (es) or on a piece of paper attached to the box (es). Please do not write directly on the box itself, as doing so will void the return.  The driver will provide the return shipping label.
Please have your return ready for pickup.  A driver will be in as soon as tomorrow, or no later than three business days to pick up the package. The item should be in the area where your company normally receive deliveries. Possibly a receiving area, loading dock, or mailroom. 
However, if a replacement is needed, per Amazon Policy, you will need to place an order through the Amazon website.

Thank you for choosing OfficeMax!
Casie Urnikis 
Think green. Leave it on the screen.
CSR, OfficeMax Workplace
TEL: 877.969.6629 | FAX: 800.797.7044 | 
Peru, Illinois |
One of the 2014 World’s Most Ethical Companies.

On Thursday, January 30, 2014 12:23 PM, J-‘ – wrote:
 Hi there.
Did you read my response at all? I shouldnt have to place another order, as how can I be sure you wont just ship me another expired unit?! YOU shipped ME expired product, are you going to make this right or not? I do not want to have to lift & pack this heavy object again, and go through placing an order again, waiting for my refund, etc. etc. when YOU are the one who did something very very wrong.
Can you help me or not?
I do appreciate your speedy reply but did anyone even read my message???
By the way: Am I the only one that sees irony in your ending your emails with the claim that you’re “one of 2014’s most ethical companies in the world” ?! There is nothing ethical about charging for expired consumables, so clearly you are lying.
On Thursday, January 30, 2014 12:23 PM, OfficeMax – wrote:
Hello J-,
If you would like we are able to do 1 of 2 options
1.)    Full credit back for the order
2.)    No-Charge Replacement
I do apologize for the confusion.
 Casie Urnikis 
Think green. Leave it on the screen.
One of the 2014 World’s Most Ethical Companies.

J- Replied:

Ms. Urnikis.
I appreciate your speedy reply once again but I am still troubled. This is the first time you mentioned a refund. I should be receiving a refund anyway – you have a driver coming to pick up the product, but you were going to keep my money?!!!!
Obviously I will not be paying for an expired product.
A replacement would be wonderful. I would much rather have DRINKABLE, NON EXPIRED, XXX Glaceau vitamin water – (Which is, believe it or not, why I ordered it) than the refund.
How soon can you get a replacement out? And, can you assure me that the replacement will NOT be expired and /or badly discolored?
Thank you again so much.
Now, to recap, in case the above was unclear: I would like option #2, – assuming the replacement is NOT EXPIRED.