2012 had many highlights but one low point, which overshadowed all; if you know me, there’s no need to elaborate. 2013 had many ups and downs both. It started out with me returning to the company I had always missed, this time as management and, as anyone who’s spent any amount of time with this company knows, the meeting of some pretty amazing people, exposure to new-to-me cultures and endless learning. A few months into this job, I became increasingly busy with getting my own companies off the ground. It got to the point where while at work all day, I was texting Hubby about our own latest venture. And so I left to try the self-employed life.

As excellent as the return to my favorite company was, what beats working for one self? No dress code, I can keep any hours I want and naturally, I answer to no one – which if you know me, you know is good.

The majority of 2013 saw me battling depression, having become clinically diagnosed after a case of “complicated bereavement” evolved. Despite the many wonderful experiences 2013 brought, there was always that. Ups and downs like with anyone and anything. 

The downside to 2013 is the loss of beloved people whom I’ve considered family whether we share DNA or not, as well as discoveries. Learning is always good in my opinion, even if the outcome is sad.

So, to the one who puts words in my mouth, even when we haven’t spoken in month or years, I thank you for showing your true self. I always appreciate the chance to learn who my true family is… and isn’t.  To the “family” who takes the aforementioned at their word, I thank them to – for revealing the lack of loyalty: a very important thing to know, always. While it is sad to lose people, it is better to have seen their true colors and I always appreciate the lesson. One can never have too much knowledge 

To the one I consider an immediate-family member whom, despite their ‘off the grid’ status and constant lack of response I hope that whatever you are going through passes and you come around. In the meantime, I will wait forever, remembering that you always believed in me when no one else did. 

Even I am beginning to believe, “it gets better”. I have been inspired by the actual ‘It Gets Better’ campaign as a matter of fact and have more in store on this matter… perhaps big things… 

Often viewed as a deeply pessimistic person (mainly by myself) I do feel that it will get better, because it has to. If there’s anyone left who cannot be patient enough to wait for my “old”, non-depressed self to resurface that is fine. Again, the lesson of true colors and all that…  I think I know who my true friends and family are.  I humbly stand corrected at times.

It may take years or even a lifetime, but it’s getting better. Proactively working to help it along can’t hurt.

2014 will bring, if not an end, at least some relief to this depression situation. It will perhaps bring new family I have yet to meet- always a welcome experience. Surely, with what Hubby has in store for me, it will at the least bring adventure and photo-ops in the travel he’s working so hard to fill my days with.

So much was learned in 2013, and with each lesson comes more questions. Here’s to and answer-filled 2014. If nothing else, you will see more of my artwork I do believe and perhaps even some writing. I’ve yet to decide whether it will be fiction or nonfiction; I suppose the story will tell itself and all will be revealed in time.

While a few people have given up on me, I’ve made dozens of new friends this year; it turns out there are people who are completely accepting of both: what I have to offer, and what I lack – imagine that!  I can think of nothing better than friends who are patient, accepting and loyal. They have taught me that we choose our family; no amount of genetics can do that. A valuable lesson indeed, and one I shall work to remember in the future…

 

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