We have a wonderful apartment manager, here at Tiffany Square Apartments in Kissimmee, Florida. The only problem is that she doesn’t work 24/7. As soon as she leaves this place (after 5 on weekdays- and ENTIRE weekends are free-for-alls) all hell breaks loose. If you read my blog, and/or follow me on Facebook, you are up-to-speed on the Whore/Dealer who lives across the hall and wants us dead. Yea, she really does rent out her vagina –I’m not actually sure if it’s rental or if she’s just a skank and gives it up as some sort of bonus to her druggie customers –but yea, she really does deal as well. Her husband doesn’t like us talking about this, hence the SUV’s full of people who come to try to kill us occasionally. (See post:  https://pelicanfreak.wordpress.com/2013/04/16/roaches-will-be-the-death-of-me-possibly-literally/   .

Our manager, N really is a hard ass. After someone stole our parking space a couple times, she threatened all residents that from now on, this happening will result in the car being towed at the owner’s expense. The problem here is: Property Management isn’t here to have the car towed outside of those limited, bankers hours.

When we moved in, she lectured us about being quiet, right down to going on about slamming doors. Meanwhile, everyone else can slam their door so hard the building literally shakes.

The whore/dealer family across the hall is nothing. My big problem with them is their roach infestation. No roaches have entered our apartment (knock on wood) but they come close. We find them dead outside the door. N has people come out and spray some hardcore looking-hooked-up-to-their-truck chemicals every time we see one. She tries. But, we are still seeing them. Babies. Despite these chemicals, they are having NO PROBLEMS reproducing at a fast rate. I also spray my own chemicals, like a lunatic, regularly which is why I think they are dead before they get inside my unit. N tries – but she cannot keep the roaches from multiplying. Clearly.

It gets better. It turns out that the neighbor under us is a wife beater. Lately we’ve heard lots of fighting and , hubby has heard some beatings. It gets better. The ONE remaining neighbor in the building threw the loudest damn party I ever heard this evening. Under our balcony. Complete with screaming children and thumping music –that, given the size of the children, DCF might have something to say about.  (Speaking of DCF, can we call them on the across-the-hall-roach-infested-whore/dealer-family?)

Tonight, I called the “emergency line” which offers a courtesy officer. I pressed zero for the officer, only to be told there is no such officer. I asked him what was the point of being given the option of pressing zero, to which the operator replied, “well, if there was an actual emergency, fire, etc., then we would send someone out.” I replied, “So if I set some of these screaming kids on fire… you’ll send someone out?” He laughingly replied, “Yes, Ma’am.” Tempting….

I figure it’s time to get the lawyer involved. Give her the lease. Tell her about what’s been going on. I want out of the lease without penalty. I want my deposit back in full. I want a moving truck provided. I can see having to pay for the movers myself- that’s arguably not a necessity  (well it is, since we are both severely arthritic- JS). But finding a new place, putting down a new deposit and having a way to transport our stuff are necessities… I hate to deal with all this and I hate moving! Hate it! And who has time to look for a home?! And apparently I make too much to live anywhere nice (wtf is that about? I make TOO MUCH ?! Trust me, with my education expenses, I still make about negative $60K per year….) and I make not enough to do the luxury thing… and I’m not ready to commit to buying yet (I have a huge aversion to commitment).

Anyway… there’s the latest on the neighbors… more coming soon.

Anyone looking for REVIEWS of TIFFANY SQUARE APARTMENT COMPLEX in KISSIMMEE, FLORIDA – , my review is this…. STAY THE HELL AWAY, unless you packin’ and wearing Kevlar 24/7  OR are deaf….  If you’re deaf you might be okay. If you’re not deaf, and you call the cops, everyone will try to kill you for having five-oh’d one of them…