It’s been 11 weeks & 3 days since you left me and nothing is the same. It hasn’t gotten any easier, contrary to what everyone says. I’m trying to get back to normal but it absolutely is not getting easier.

I honestly thought you’d still be here to celebrate your 17th birthday; you came very close and everything happened so suddenly, just out of nowhere. Yes, you were senile and had something against food but those were not new problems. Losing functionality of your entire body? Wtf is all I can say about that.

Over the last 3 years, after you’d entered into senility (and not entirely gracefully) I was not kidding any time I said “my life revolves around my dog”. You were my whole world; I missed lots of weddings and other events because I couldn’t leave you for more than a few hours. I was restricted to going only where I could bring you with me, or returning within a couple hours. I held 2 jobs that I didn’t really care for over the last 7+ years so that you would always have easy and affordable access to the very best veterinary specialists that exist in their respective fields. I am now stuck in a menial job, having moved my resume a bit backwards, and running up a 6-figure debt in order to get it back on track. I went without many of my own basic needs so that I could provide yours.

I just want to say that I would do it again in a heartbeat. Not for another animal -just for you. I also would have continued to do what I was doing for the rest of time, if it meant you were here, enjoying a good quality of life.

I hope there are plenty of Wife Swap, Dance Moms and Hannah Montanna marathons in sunny, grassy spots where ever you are now, while you wait for me.