You. Are/Were. Everything.

I’ll never forget the happy times, your smile, your stubbornness, your OCD, your strong control freak personality. Your way of getting your point across perfectly, even though you didn’t speak English. Your weird Reality TV fetish. Your Disney fetish. Your Hanna Montanna phase. Your uncanny ability to always know how I was feeling and ALWAYS make it better using little to no effort.

I know that you never ever would want to live in a vegetative state, give up control over yourself /be hospitalized, have a feeding tube, having people moving you because you couldn’t move yourself. On what I am certain will forever be the worst day of my life, I made the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make – but I know it is what your preference would be. I would prefer to keep you around, for my own personal selfish reasons and I know that you would not enjoy that. (Loyal as you are, you would probably tolerate it for me, but you would not enjoy it.)

And so, we put you in the grass, in the sun, and did what had to be done. I am so sorry I couldn’t do more. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you, and that did include not refusing to let go when you needed me to, but I will never be the same for it. I do not want to be alive without you. You were never just a dog. You were my family. For almost 17 of my 30 years. Life will never be the same. Please wait for me at the Rainbow Bridge -as that is all I have now.

I loved you, as much as anyone could possible love anyone or anything, before you were even mine, and I always will. I will never be the same without you. I am sure that Jill will take care of you until I can take over. Be a good girl. Don’t rest in peace  – live it up. Run like you used to and bask in the sun and drink all the water you possibly can and play lots of tug of war.

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